A Birthday Letter for my 3 year old

Dear Jayce,
Happy Birthday my precious baby boy! Where do I begin? You are 3 today, 3! The time has passed much too quickly for my liking and it is shocking to me how much you have grown up even in the last couple of weeks. We had a birthday party for you last weekend and you prayed for the meal, all by yourself. You stayed loud and confident right to the end and didn't get shy or bury your head in your arms once. How did that happen? When did you come out of your shell? It seems to have happened overnight. You're pulling away from me, not needing me as much now and learning to stand on your own 2 feet. As much as I celebrate and am thankful for that, it also makes me sad. You're a mama's boy Jayce. Have been for a long time and while there have been moments that were difficult, I have really loved it. You are my last born and it meant I could keep you in a baby stage a while longer and truly savor that stage.

Now I look at you and I see that babyness swiftly leaving you. I'm getting teary eyed and emotional writing this because I'm not ready. I'm not ready for you to grow up. I'm not ready for you to go to preschool. I'm not ready for you to pull away from me. I've been holding onto you, maybe tighter than I should, because there was a time I thought we were going to lose you. There was a time I prayed to God, begging Him to save you, pleading with him to allow me to raise my baby. I still remember that week, the week of hell during which I shed some of the most heart-wrenching, soul shattering tears of my life. A week that most people have forgotten and moved on from (as they should) but a week that I can't and don't want to, ever forget. It's a part of your story, a part of our story and it reminds me even today, to hug you and Kyra tighter; to be thankful for the moments and years I've shared with you. And I am. I am so thankful to know you Mr. Man. I am so thankful for your wonderful smile, for your laugh that we still have to work to hear but is always worth it:) I'm thankful for the way you bury your head in my neck when I'm getting you dressed and the way you always have to be sitting on my lap when it's storytime. I'm thankful that my fears I had about you not talking have proven to be unnecessary; your speech is growing by leaps and bounds now.

I love you Jayce. I love the way your body(no matter how big you get) always seems to mould so perfectly to mine. I love watching you play with your sister and to see you having to try everything she's doing. I love that you are so content to play on your own and are still obsessed with cars/trucks. I absolutely love your kisses because you didn't give kisses for a long time. It's only in the last 2 months that you've really started. And they are precious. They melt my heart in ways I can't describe.

Happy Birthday Jayce! We love you more than you know.
Love,
Mommy