A letter to my 4 year old

Dear Jayce,
6+ months is the time I've spent with this blog post lingering in the back of my head. I've sat down many times in those months to try and write it but I couldn't. You see, to me, writing this post signaled the beginning of me needing to say good-bye to you and that is not something I have been ready to do. You are my buddy, Jayce; writing this post meant I had to face the reality that you were entering your last year of preschool and I only had one more year at home with you before the world of public school enveloped you. I couldn't face that, buddy. I couldn't sit down to write your birthday post without tears streaming down my face because it really felt like a good-bye letter. So here I am, 5 months later, finally doing just that, with those tears once again bathing my face.

Our bond is something special, Jayce. You were born a momma's boy, that has never been a secret and something that I have always loved. Throughout this year you have been my shopping buddy, my let's-just-stay-at-home-today buddy, my "I need a hug for no reason other than I love them" buddy, my cuddle buddy, my Mr. Man. My love for you has grown so much these past months(as it has for your sister) and I have been cherishing all our little moments. All the times you lean into me and press your cheek against mine. Everytime you curl your little body to mine, just to have a cuddle. The heart exploding moments when I come to pick you up from preschool and you run across the room to me with a big smile on your face to give me the hugest hug you have in you at that moment. Playing games with you at home, listening to you as you have some really funny conversations with your cars, just being with you are all things I cannot get enough of.

You've been surprising me this year, Jayce. I guess you could say I've been underestimating you and I'm sorry for that. You were assigned the role of Joseph for your Christmas play at preschool this year and I had visions of you staring at the crowd and then bursting into tears and running off the stage. Or I thought I might have to be standing up on stage with you. Instead, you practiced those lines over and over and couldn't wait for the play to come. On the day of, the power went out just before you and your friends were supposed to go on. I thought for sure that would scare you out of doing your part but instead you walked right up there and did a fantastic job. You were one of the loudest singers of the group and didn't care whether you were singing on cue or not. :) My heart was bursting with pride and love; I could not stop smiling. (I may have even wiped away a few tears of joy). You are making strides in overcoming some of your anxieties and for that, I am thankful.

Lately, you have started to become somewhat of a Daddy's boy. You tell me often that you miss Daddy when he's gone and wish that he didn't have to go to work. You try to go with Daddy if he leaves in the evenings and have to get at least one "hug, kiss and a buh-bye!" before he heads off for work, if not 2 or 3. You love being with your daddy so much right now and it melts my heart.

You, Jayce Carter, are a hoot. You have this quick wit, coupled with a matter of fact way of saying things that makes your daddy and I laugh and laugh. When you and Kyra do something particularly crazy I like to look at you and say "Where did we get you from?" During one such moment, I asked that of Kyra and without missing a beat you said "the dollar store." Where do you come up with these things!? I love it and I hope you never lose that wit.

You can be incredibly sweet as well. You love babies and have the sweetest, shyest little manner around them. Kissing and holding them whenever possible is a must; the look on your face when you do get to hold a baby is so precious. 

You miss Kyra when she's at school and love to hug and kiss her when we finally get her home. :) We went to watch her do her science presentation on Tuesday and once she was finished, she came to sit with us. Having her sit next you wasn't enough, so you slid your hand over to hers and the 2 of you sat there, holding hands for a little while. It was an incredibly sweet moment between you and Kyra; one I was glad to be a part of.

Jayce, you are my heart. You fill me with so much joy and I am thankful everyday that God gave me the privilege of being your mommy. I promise to cherish these last few months we have with just mommy & Jayce time. I love you, baby boy, don't ever forget that.

Love,

Mommy 

Drama Queen(s)

My daughter has been called a Drama Queen from time to time . . . . 

(had a miniscule cut on her finger and wore a glove over it at dinner so as not to get anything in it)

 . . . . I wonder where she got that from? :)

A Letter to my 5 year old

Dear Kyra,
About a year and a half ago you started asking me to chew gum. Knowing how your mind works, I wanted to stop you asking that before it got incessant so I told you that you had to wait until you were 5 years old before you were allowed to chew gum. (My thought process being you would be in kindergarten and mature enough to handle the responsibilities of gum, plus, 5 seemed so far away at the time). Unfortunately for me, 5 came a lot quicker then I anticipated. How did this year go by so fast?

I can still remember this day so clearly. Finally getting to meet you when you were determined to stay inside me for so long was one of the greatest moments of my life.

Kyra, I don't think I'll ever be able to express just how much you mean to me. How does a mother find those words? You amaze me on a daily basis. You make me smile and laugh (as well as want to rip every hair out of my head because, girl, you know how to push my buttons). Your attention to detail continues to astound me. I find it funny that after the intial excitement of welcoming Kait home the first thing you said was "you got a new cover for your phone!" Of course it would be you who would notice that:)

Your memory is far superior to mine and we have to be careful what we say because inevitably we'll hear "remember mommy/daddy when you said . . ." Although it does come in handy because I can now say "Kyra, please remind me about this . . . " and you will!

(1st Birthday)

You are thriving at school. You love getting to see your friends everyday and I hear nothing but positive reports from your teacher about how you're doing. Makes my heart so happy to know that the things we are teaching you at home are spilling over into school life. Your biggest complaint about school is that recess and lunch aren't long enough:)

(2nd Birthday)

Ready to Read is a fun afterschool activity for you. Daddy and I are constantly amazed at how much your reading skills have exploded. You still prefer to have us read to you(which I have to admit, I don't mind; it's  one of the few times you cuddle!), but you are sounding out harder words and are able to get them most of the time! Last week was the first time you read an entire book by yourself and it wasn't one you had heard before. You were so proud of yourself! 

(3rd Birthday)

 Sometimes in the busyness of the day I'll just stop and really look at you. I notice how your face has very little "baby" left in it and instead I see "girl". I hear the way your words string together in a long run-on sentence because you're just so excited to get out that new idea. I listen to the way you sing-sing your way through life and I think "yes! There's the joy I want you to know. Keep that song in you!" And as I watch you, my eyes fill with tears because I just cannnot believe that you are mine. I cannot believe that I get the honor of being your mom. As my eyes are filling with tears, my heart is overflowing with joy and true gratefulness that you are my daughter. This next year I have a plan to stop a lot more and just soak you in. Your beautiful smile, your fabulous laugh, your adventurous spirit, your determined spirit; I want to remember this time with you.

(4th Birthday)

I want you to know, Kyra, that you are worth every lost moment of sleep and every single minute of worry. I wouldn't trade them because those lost moments of sleep are times that I get to feel you cuddle up next me in bed and hear your breathing settle into an easier rhythm because you feel safe & secure. Every single minute of worry are times that I think of you and pray for you. 

You are my heart, baby girl, and I love you.

Love always, 

Mommy

(5th Birthday)

Unruh Family Photos

In June we had Vanessa come and do family photos for us. It was a fun afternoon with lots of laughs. Since I promised a picture-full post, I'm going to stop talking now and show you my favorite photos(of which there a lot). 

Thank you Vanessa!!